Monday, 1 February 2010

Ode to My Printer

I did a lot of work this week for the Advanced Midwifery Studies course I’m doing, and had to print out and scan a bunch of stuff to send in, which inspired me to write this poem:

My love, you are so silver and shiny,
You make noises that are clunky and whiny.
And all the ink you drink and drink,
I threw my wallet down the sink

Seven hours now, I’ve spent,
My hair is torn, my shirt is rent.
And no print-outs do I have to show,
The scans I needed are a no-go.

On the wall I've bashed my head,
And screamed until my eyeballs bled.
Once more I try to scan and then,
My computer must restart again.

Have to find the driver disc,
Reboot, install, and take the risk.
Maybe it will work this time,
Oh darling printer, please work fine.

I implore you please, just once more,
Or I'll throw you on the floor.
And my computer for good measure too,
But now there's nothing left to do.

It's just a great big paper suck,
So I shout "Oh, what the $#@%!"
It will not work, not ever, I think,
The last resort is have a drink!

As someone has already asked me, this work is copyright under Creative Commons – feel free to reproduce it as long as you give credit and link back to me.


  1. Bwhahahaa.. oh that's just brilliant ;) Ty for sharing, I needed a giggle! My printer currently sits above me, mocking me from the shelf where it lives, because it knows it holds no black toner *sigh* Bastage!

  2. Love it, and totally feel your pain!


Thanks for your lovely words, witty banter and entertaining discussion :)