Monday, 5 September 2011

Transitions

Apparently Mercury has been in retrograde, and as we all know, mercury is poisonous. So weird things happen.

Purple and I have separated, which is one big change. Actually, it’s a huge change! It’s been eight weeks now since he came home from vacation at the Rainbow Gathering in Washington State and told me he wants to break up.

We’ve been married for eight years, and despite a lot of ups and downs, it all seemed to be going well. I do get a lot of questions about the nature of our relationship – yes, we were polyamorous, and no, that’s not the reason we broke up.

It’s been a rough couple of months for me, going through teh dramaz with Purple moving out, and then not moving out, he wasn’t talking to me for a while and shut himself in his bedroom. I also (unrelatedly) broke up with my girlfriend; my beloved, who broke my heart. So I’m entirely single for the first time in many years. It’s been a very depressing couple of months, and really feeling like I’m barely hanging on at times.

Now that we’ve had a bit of time to work things out and a little space, Purple and I have decided to stay living together, at least for the time being. We are, after all, still best friends, and we’re still parents to Littletree.

We have our own bedrooms and it makes a lot of sense in many ways to be housemates. We’ve started the process of subdividing our block of land, with future plans for Purple to build a house on the other half. Who knows what the future will bring!

In the meantime, I’m feeling very “wrung out”, and coping as best I can. Littletree is a total champ. She told me one day: ‘no offence, mama, but when you and Aba argue, it’s your fault. Because even though it seems like he always starts it by saying something that’s mean, you have to remember that he’s too stupid to start fights!’ LOL

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She’s a resilient kid, and very pragmatic. I can’t believe how much she’s growing up.

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So tomorrow Purple goes back to Israel for a while, and who knows what will happen. Meanwhile, life goes on :)

20 comments:

  1. Dear One: May you be blessed in this transformation!! As I read your post, knowing that I am sure you are saddened, I smiled...knowing that all is well. Please don't take this wrong, I have loads of empathy..and would feed you and we'd drink wine if closer. But I just know!! All is Well!!
    And your wee one is just full of intuition!!

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  2. thanks :)
    drinking wine would be nice though!

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  3. I'm a midwifery student in the US and just started reading your blog. I'm so inspired by the traveling you do with your sweet Littletree. I would love for my children to have some of the experiences your daughter has had. What a wonderful, spirit-filled Mama you are! I wish you peace and strength as you traverse this new path.
    With LOVE from North Carolina!
    Kerri

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  4. Love to you gorgeous.

    What beautiful photos of Littletree!

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  5. Sending you a virtual hg my dear. Your long legged smarty pants girl will see you through.

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  6. thanks all. and you're right boatbaby - my smarty-pants girl will see me through!

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  7. Oh my! What big changes... Remember to nourish yourself well in times of change xxx

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  8. I am sorry to hear about this, The Talmud tells us that when a couple divorces, the altar in the Temple weeps.
    It's a powerful image, and I feel that most of these tears aren't for the couple itself but rather for the children. The pictures of Littletree show that she is turning from a child into a girl, and she will understand what is happening to her family. All the best to you three.
    Andrea

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  9. I wish you all the best during your transition. You are an amazing woman and you will get through this stronger and maybe wiser.
    x

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  10. It is a strange and unsettling time. Sending you love and hugs from the UK and wishing you nothing but the very best xxx

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  11. lots of love to you.

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  12. Typical... Me and my boyfriend broke up in half of august and we are still living together in the same house for the time being.
    I even stopped working on my wagon and sold my tractor in preparation of going back to my 'home' town.
    It sounds you've got a great friend though :)
    They say in time, everything will get better, so even in the worst rainy days think of that.
    Know the feeling too well of barely hanging on.

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  13. oh Marga! I'm so sorry to hear that, and sorry to hear you had to sell your tractor :( hugs

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  14. Oh it sounds like too much all at once! I hope that being co-parents and roommates is a good solution for everyone!

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  15. Thanks Jen.
    The roommates thing probably isn't going to work for very long. We'll see what happens when he comes back from Israel

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  16. your friend forever vered19 September 2011 at 5:58 pm

    find myself miss you allot
    read you all the time
    just came to
    kiss and hug
    i love you

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  17. Vered! Vrudonet Sheli! metukah!
    Tishlechi li email, ein li kesher itach!
    neshikot

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  18. She told me one day: ‘no offence, mama, but when you and Aba argue, it’s your fault. Because even though it seems like he always starts it by saying something that’s mean, you have to remember that he’s too stupid to start fights!’ LOL
    ...
    That is one of the most unsettling things I have ever read on your blog.
    Did you tell her that every break up is because of two people? Or do you totally believe that it was all his fault?
    That is so not a funny or cute thing for your child to say. I am guessing you talked to her about it and she now understands the intracesies of relationships.

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Thanks for your lovely words, witty banter and entertaining discussion :)