Stress

watch out, i'm feeling like a whinge is coming on...

Well, i realise I'm so tense you could flick me and I'd explode.
The whole situation is just getting too much for me, hey, I'm just a little green majik faerie, I'm not cut out for all this stuff.
I get swept up in the fantasy of all the wonderful things we are going to do, the gorgeous little cottage we are going to live in, how we're going to be wonderful and settled and have good friends and be involved in the community and join a capoeira group and have lots of friends for Littletree and all that kind of stuff. But then the thought of actually settling down and committing myself to be in one place terrifies me.
I've been on the road since 1998! I didnt even stop travelling when I gave birth - literally, Littletree was born in the back of a car on the side of a road next to a footballfield, in the mud, in the rain, in Brazil. We had travelled 3 days before she was born and we moved on again 2 weeks later.
Pregnancy didnt slow me down; I was in nine countries in the nine months of gestation, not even getting dysentary stopped me travelling. and now, here we are.
Everything is so much more expensive in Australia than I remembered it, and not just normal inflation, which is expectable. Veggies are double than they were. Petrol too. and property prices are more than triple what they used to be.
At least cars are still cheap.

We are looking at buying a van or campervan, for around $3000 or $4000 Australian, pretty good, really. But it just involves so much hassle. So many questions I cant answer.
And moving to a new country isnt just moving house. we need to deal with new bank accounts, and there are so many banks with all different deals, how the hell do we decide? and Mobile Phone deals to choose from, and its all very confusing. Medicare and health insurance. Local Drivers' licences - do we just get them here in Victoria or wait till we are in NSW? Probably we are moving to NSW soon, but we arent sure, and we might be there for just a couple of months, and then moving back to VIC. is it better to get a car registered here or wait till we are north?
and meanwhile, we are staying in a friend's house and I feel uncomfortable all the time that we are invading his space, that Littletree is disturbing him with her 4-year-old antics, and that he disapproves of our parenting methods.

I'm supposed to be taking care of everything, and making sure Purple has nothing to worry about and he will love it here and everything will be fine.

and I just feel lost and alone and stressed. I cant sleep at night. and now my computer has gone on the blink, it just wont boot and I'm afraid of losing all my files.

And of course Purple is flying back to Israel in 6 weeks for work, and he wants to be settled in our own home before that. but what if we arent??

AAAARRRRRGH
huhuuuhuuuu

okay, rant over ;)