Saturday 3 May 2008

An Elephant Ate My Daughter

One of the weirdest things in Tel Aviv (note it's definitely not the weirdest), is at the playground in a huge shopping mall called Dizengoff Centre.

They have this larger-than-life flibreglass elephant with stairs leading up into its mouth. Children climb excitedly up the stairs into the dark, red belly of the beast...

74 elephant slide And slide down through a chute that comes out its butt!

75 elephant slideThe children emerge, barely digested, to gleefully run around and go again.

And no one seems to think it's strange.

Littletree and I followed this adventure up by getting into a fight with a random passer-by: I was standing on a busy street-corner, talking on my phone to arrange a meeting with my friend. Littletree was sitting at my feet, waiting patiently. It was a loud and hectic place to stand, and I was already feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed...

Anyway, someone walked up with a dog, and the dog proceeded to sniff Littletree in the face. Littletree whined and backed away. The dog followed and started licking her. She whined more, and tried to fend it off, but not very convincingly. I said in a good dog-commanding voice (in Hebrew) "Hey! dog! Go! Shoo!" The dog continued to harass Littletree, and she continued to be disturbed by it.

Then I saw that the dog had an owner standing right next to us, so I said to her (in Hebrew) "hey, get your dog away from here". The woman replied that the dog wasn't disturbing my daughter. I raised my voice (clearly not so cool, but hey), "Yes! The Dog IS Disturbing Her! She's Frightened, Now Get Your Dog Away From Us!!"

Without moving her dog, the woman said "whoa, you're so aggressive!"

So then I lost it.

Shouted in her face (in English) "OF COURSE I'M @#$%ING AGGRESSIVE! YOUR DOG IS ANNOYING MY DAUGHTER AND I ASKED YOU TO TAKE IT AWAY! NOW GET YOUR @#$%ING DOG AWAY FROM US YOU STUPID B!TCH!!!"

78 climbingClearly not my best moment,

But clearly, IMO, you can't just let your dog go around getting in people's faces, especially when they ask you not to. Littletree could have been allergic to dogs, or phobic, or anything. She didn't know. Clearly I could have dealt with this waaaaay better. But somehow, being in Israel has me acting like that much more than I'd like.

Thank goodness for Rescue Remedy. Then i took Littletree to the park to meet Butterfly and climb on stuff.

13 comments:

  1. I am laughing so hard about the elephant thing!!!

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  2. The elephant is hilarious but I thought your snap was funny as all get out! Any parent can testify to a snapping point in the past that isn't one of our "star" parenting moments! Still funny though, makes us feel human :-)

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  3. Horray for pacaderm poo! Boo to carnivorous canines!

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  4. What a cute idea, the elephant slide..that woman was very rude.
    I just don't know what is wrong with some people.

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  5. Some dog owners just don't get that not everyone loves their dog as much as they do. Since I am terrified of dogs (attacked when a kid), I would have lost it with that lady way earlier than you did.

    The elephant slide looks fun. At least they didn't have it mechanised, so that the mouth closed up!

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  6. Please, please, please do not be offended, but I have noticed an uncharacteristically hostile tone in your blog since you've arrived in Israel, pertaining to Israel, Israelis and Judaism.

    Examples:

    "It is just another way in which the Jews go to extraordinary lengths to circumvent Jewish law and still remain Kosher."

    "Thankfully, my family aren't particularly religious, so we didn't have to deal with all that nonsense."

    "The people are mostly Israelis. This means that it doesn't matter what you tell them, they will insist that they should do just whatever the heck they were doing in the first place. The more you try to explain that a small splash of water from a bottle is not sufficient to cleanse one's hands after defecating, especially if one then goes to chop salad for hundreds of other people, the more they will insist on cutting said salad, and refuse to wash properly."

    "Clearly I could have dealt with this waaaaay better. But somehow, being in Israel has me acting like that much more than I'd like."

    I am a non-observant Jew with mixed-leaning-toward-negative emotions about Judaism, Zionism, and Jewish culture. Yet, there is something in your tone that caught even my attention.

    I have only found your blog recently and have been attracted to your lifestle and unschooling spirit, but you seem tense and angry now that you are in Israel observing Jewish custom and interacting with Israeli culture.

    I'm assuming (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that you are a convert to Judaism. Converts to Judasim, including people in my faily, are often very joyfully Jewish, even moreso than those of us who were born into it. Of course, there is no obligation to approach the religion or the culture joyfully, but it begs the question as to why you chose a path that seems to make you tense and angry, when other aspects of your life seem to flow much more joyfully.

    PLEASE NOTE--I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT A CONVERT IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE TENSE AND ANGRY, OR IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE AS CRITICAL OF JUDASIM AS THE NEXT JEW. I'VE SIMPLY NOTICED A DRASTIC CHANGE TOWARD THE NEGATIVE IN YOUR TONE SINCE YOU GOT TO ISRAEL, AND MY QUESTIONS AROSE.

    I truly hope I haven't offended you.

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  7. thankyou annonymous.
    well, I won't be offended, because you are making assumptions about something you know nothing.
    since I am NOT a convert to Judaism. I come from a Jewsih background, my entire family was killed in the holocaust, save my grandfather's parents (with my grandfather, when he was a small child), who escaped from Germany. How they got out is quite an amazing story, actually.

    I married an Israeli and made Aliyah (Jewish Immigration) to Israel.

    I lived in Israel for 2.5 years, where I developed a strong sense of cynical irony towards the place.

    but to be honest, yes, I am tense and angry there. something about living in a war zone makes me frustrated. I guess I'm just too sensitive.

    Luckily, I now live in paradise in Australia, where for the most part, life is laid back and I don't need to deal with all that stress.

    If you spend any length of time in Israel, especially hanging around an Ulpan (Hebrew school), you'll find loads of foreigners who feel the same way I do about Israel.

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  8. You're right. I do know nothing about your situation. That's why I asked you about it. And thanks for answering.

    I'm an Ashkenazi Jew, also, with my own Holocaust background, but that wasn't my point. In my opinion, a Jew is a Jew--born or converted. So, my issue was not whether or not you are a convert, or how Jewish or non-Jewish your background is, but whether you had CHOSEN a situation that makes you unhappy.

    I cannot and did not address your discomfort with being in a war zone. Your discomfort that I commented on was with Jewish culture. The hypocrisy you observe among ultra-Orthodox Jews exists wherever ultra-Orthodox Jews live. It is not exclusive to Israel. Other aspects of Jewish culture that bother you are not exclusive to Israel, either, so what I picked up from your posts was a basic problem with aspects of Jewish life/culture that exist everywhere Jews live--certainly here in the U.S. Frankly, these are aspects that bother me, too, and have caused me to move away from the culture. It just seems a tough road to travel to be immersed in the culture yet so discomfitted by it.

    Anyway, please forgive the assumptions.

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  9. thanks for that reply.
    basically, I ended up living in Israel due to circumstances (being married with a child to an Israeli). I never really liked it there.
    I think perhaps I'm more critical of Jewish culture because it is my background, and I grew up idolising it, only to find out that it is (like most religions and cultures) hypocritical and flawed in some ways.
    outside of Israel, I've never been really exposed to it all that much.

    oh, and miles to go before I sleep: please don't make such comments on a public site - I wouldn't want the word getting out that I'm human ;)

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  10. What can I say?!
    I care much about you, and I love Israel. I love Jewish culture. I love it although I have tons of criticism concerning it.

    It looks like you have chosen to collect whatever's annoying in it.
    This can be easily done with any culture, any religion, any place. Does it reflect reality or create one?

    Anyway, I like to call it home, and you're invited to my home, always. Too bad you couldn't visit me up north, and that I haven't seen Littletree.
    Enjoy China.
    Love
    Klarki

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  11. Hello, I just wanted to chime in here too! I love reading about all your adventures!

    I just wanted to say when i read your last post(and please please don't be offended either, this is said to you in a very loving and compassionate way) i was taken back about the situation you had with the dog, and how you handled it. (and i don't believe this has anything to do with judaism, or culture, probally more along the lines of spirit. Yes, the dog was getting in littletrees face, yes, littletress could be alergic, or anything else,(i'm a mama, i know the mama bear feeling!) but it might not have turned into anything if you could have asked her nicely to pull her dog away from your daughter. Also the swearing and calling somebody a stupid bitch(in front of little tree) is just not o.k. What are you teaching your daughter in that situation?? Mabey you could have just walked away when she chose not to move her dog. Anyways this is said all in love.
    KS

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  12. Gee, good thing you're human, it means you're not perfect and you won't handle everything perfectly, hey? ;) Love to you xx

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  13. way to go KS.
    In case you didn't notice, I DID try to shoo the dog away, And I DID ask the owner to take her dog away. she didn't seem to care that I asked her to move her dog on, she didn't care that Littletree was whining and starting to cry because of the dog in her face.

    I never said it was a good way to deal with the situation. in fact, if you read the post at all, I said that raising my voice was not so cool, and that shouting abuse at the woman was not my best moment.

    I still think the dog woman was waaaay out of line. If your dog is sniffing the face of a strange child on the street, and the child reacts unfavourably, and then the mother asks you to take your dog away, you do it. immediately. no questions asked, no arguing. If you refuse, then expect to be asked again, firmer. still refusing, expect to be shouted at.

    Of course it wasn't great that I reacted with anger. I'm human. I talked about it with Littletree. She gets that it's not the best way to relate to people, BUT she has also learned that it's better to forgo politeness in the face of loss of personal space.

    If someone is touching her or getting in her personal space or being inappropriate, I WANT her to shout and make a scene.

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Thanks for your lovely words, witty banter and entertaining discussion :)