Equinox

At this moment, the Autumnal Equinox is upon us (Vernal Equinox for those in the northern hemisphere).

Mabon. The celebration of harvest, the coming of cooler days.
In this moment I am observant, the length of days and nights in balance. I honour the Green goddess of the forest, I offer libations to the trees, and to the faeries.

And this is the view from my hammock.

Happy St Patrick's Day

We had quite the night out, all in green (just for a change) at the local pub, surrounded by faeries and mermaids and draggons and frolicking elves. Put away a few Guinness, and danced a few jigs. I even took home the prize for best-dressed!

And true to tradition, we ended it all in drunken tears and fighting.
Perfect.

Cheesecake

Purple stumbled across an interesting recipe for Dulce de Leche Cheesecake Bars and we thought we’d give it a whirl…

Only, _Graham crackers_ aren’t something commonly gotten in Australia, and even managing with the best available substitutes, “a packet” is not a standard unit of measurement, even in the US, as far as I could determine from googling.

So, using the recipe as inspiration, we made something completely different.

Dulce de Leche is also something not so easy to come by, and it’s an expensive specialty item… lucky for me, I know you can take ye olde tin of homebrand sweetened condensed milk, and simmer it (the whole, unopened tin) in a pot of water for about 2 hours – make sure to keep topping up the water so it doesn’t boil dry, et voila! Dulce de Leche!

So start with a few digestive biscuits of some variety. Chocolate Tiny Teddy biscuits work, and I imagine Tim Tams would would really well. Crush up enough biscuits to make about a cup of biscuit crumbs, blend in a couple spoons of sugar and enough softened butter to make it kind of hold together, in a crumbly sort of way. Press this into a 20cm square pan and bake in the oven 160C for 10 mins. Take it out of the oven to cool.

Meanwhile, blend a couple of tubs of cream cheese in the food processer, then add in half a cup of sugar and a couple of free-range eggs. Lick the spoon liberally. Then we added in a small splash of vanilla extract and – the secret weapon ingredient; home made coffee liqueur.

Spread the Dulce de Leche onto the cooled biscuit base, and then pour the cheesecake filling on to that. spread it carefully, and pop it back into the oven for 50 minutes. Then you have to wait for it to cool, but you can occupy yourself with licking the bowl and making sure the home-made coffee liqueur hasn’t gone bad.

For the final topping, make ganache – heat cream till boiling, then pour into a bowl with an equal weight of broken up chocolate, whisk till the chocolate is fully melted in and creamy. Spread a thin layer of this on top of the cheesecake and refrigerate for a while (how long it takes to watch an episode of Firefly and finish off the coffee liqueur should be enough).

Ready to cut and serve!!! OMG soooooooo good

Purim Sameach

It's Purim again! The classic example of every Jewish holiday which boils down to: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!  Remember all the fun from last year?

Since Purim fell mid-week, we didn't doing anything much on the day, but tonight night we're all going out dancing at Glo Dance, and then Saturday Littletree is going to a kids dress-up party down the street and there will be a Rocky-Horror party at my place - we'll all get dressed up as our fave characters, eat a feast, drink a lot of caipirinhas, and watch the movie :)

Meanwhile, here's a gorgeous photo of Littletree (then aged 3) and Butterfly, after a full day at the Tel Aviv Purim street party, 2006.

Absence makes the heart go yonder

Phew! I’ve been away a while! I did get my computer back and in working order, but part of the repair process involved it being sent back to me “factory restored” which means it’s essentially like getting a brand new computer. Which means that all of my software, files and settings are gone.

Of course I have backups of everything, but I’m just not feeling bothered to deal with things, and real life is keeping me very busy! Never fear, I will definitely be posting some ketchup soon, but in the meantime, avid readers may occupy themselves with the beautiful words of Lady Demelza on her new blog The Maroon Diaries.

(random sneak-peek photograph)

Well, my computer ran into some... well, difficulties, and has been sent off to ACER for repairs. At least it's still under warranty, and I hope to have it back in 6-12 business days. 
Meanwhile, I may or may not manage to blog, but rest assured I'll be doing something interesting that may or may not include lying around in my hammock enjoying some screen-free time.

The Creature Inside

This is my daemon. It lives inside of me, and I spent many years terrified of it. It was stuffed down, deep in the dank darkness, fed on fear and anger and sadness and all the filth and hurt and suffering I could dredge up and push down there.

And so it grew, trapped in a tiny cage, poked and prodded, insults hurled at it, like a rabid dog in a too-small box. And it grew to hate me, and I feared it all the more. But I could not set it free, for it would attack and devour me.

Down in the darkness, it turned and growled, and snapped, and snarled, eyes flashing and saliva dripping, menacing and evil. And I wished to be free of it.
I tried to describe this creature in therapy one time, and my therapist handed me a large sheet of paper and a box of pastels. I sat, with a black pastel in my (non-dominant) left hand and drew this with my eyes closed...

And I saw that my creature was not all that bad after all. I felt pity and sadness for it; the poor thing, trapped down there all these years, abused and diseased. It was lonely, and I had created it.

So now we work together, my creature and I; it still snarls from time to time, but I have, at least, stopped poking it and pouring poison into its cage. I let the sun shine in, when I can, and give it fresh water and empathy and love. And most of all, I apologised.

Breaking Point

Littletree was having a moment of overwhelm today – she lost the tiny magic key that she found in the forest, and it was just the last straw for her in an overwhelming situation.

She got really angry, and really frustrated, and said she wanted to scream and hit something. She chose to go into her bedroom and scream into a pillow and punch the mattress. I went into her room to offer her some support, and she told me she just really wants to break something.

I suggested she just feel into that, but that physically breaking something might not be productive. Then she got inspired, and asked if she could break sticks – the skewers we use for kebabs.

So I got her the packet of kebab skewers out of the kitchen and lay in bed with her while she snapped them. Half a dozen skewers later, she started talking about writing a program that would function like a to-do list, but with time stamps and check boxes, and with features like alarms and reminders.

Within five minutes we were out of the room, and talking about all sorts of stuff, happy again… and all it took was a few wooden skewers.